The many adventures of SamWinky: A big weekend

This past weekend we celebrated the end of the year with Seraphina's Daisy troop. She received her cookie patches and prizes, her patches that she earned through the year (15 total) and her first star for 1 year completed in scouting. The girls voted to celebrate with a bowling party. When we started out with this troop I was a little worried about how she would fit in. Air Force families tend to treat Army families differently and some of the girls and their mom's sadly proved that theory correct. However the larger population was very sweet and their mom's eventually came around and started treating us like people, which in the end is really all anyone wants regardless of which branch of service you are or are not attached to. Dad left on Saturday for a couple of weeks and so the weekend wasn't as enjoyable as it could have been but we tried hard to make the best of it.

On Sunday 3 years of work came to an end. Yes the time had finally come for Sam to donate his beautiful hair. This was a big decision for Sam to make and one that wasn't easy on him. I know everyone realizes that he did a great thing in cutting his hair what I don't think everyone realizes is how tough it was to get here. I'd like to take a minute to try to tell you about the journey that this hair thing has been. Sam started growing his hair when his dad left for Iraq. The emotional struggles that a young boy goes through when his father goes off to war isn't something I could ever convey in writing and growing his hair started out as his silent protest to just how unfair life seemed then. As it grew it became more of a shield to hide behind and we started to see less of Sam's face. He has never been one to talk things out but his dad leaving and then returning really cemented that shell around Sam and the hair was almost a living reminder of it. I'd love to say that his dad's return was easy and life went right back to normal but that would be a lie. In some ways we are all still adjusting to the ways life changed when we were apart. Sam didn't want someone else to decide when he should end his protest, and he continued to let his hair grow. As it got longer he started to see it as more of an extension of the person he was becoming and one night when the pressure to cut it was really mounting he came to me and asked me how I would feel about letting him keep it until he could donate a full wig to a child. I loved his hair right from the start so I wasn't really the problem but I also knew he was working to get me on his side so that he could approach his dad (who very much hated the hair) with the idea. I have always told my children that I am always on their side and this will always be true especially when they are trying to do good things in the world but it became obvious that this was a test to see just how much I would battle for him. You see, Sam had done some research as it turns out a full wig requires over 10 inches of hair and hair that long was gonna make more then just his dad mad. Still the promise was made and the hair continued to grow and Sammy endured a lot more then most people realize because of it. Strangers, friends and even some family had opinions about his hair that were less then favorable. As an adult I expect children to be mean I expect them to tease or say something inappropriate but I am always shocked by how ridiculously childish "parents" can be. I would love to say that parents corrected children who insisted that Sam was a girl. It would be wonderful to say they punished the child who said something vicious when they were told that he was not a she. However I can't say that. More often then not the parents would join it with comments like "if you don't cut that hair he's going to turn funny" or "Well what do you expect when you let him run around looking like a girl" or my personal favorite "what kind of parent let's their kid get teased like that, you really need to cut it so kids will leave him alone" (to which I always wanted to say" what kind of parent let's their kid say something bratty and then makes an excuse for them by blaming the kid they are picking on) Through all of the ignorance and ridicule Sam was graceful and always granted more respect than he was given responding simply "No I'm a boy. I'm growing my hair to give it to a child who has lost theirs through illness" The hair grew to represent many things but mostly it grew to show that Sam understands that no matter how bad things may be or may have been he can make the world a better place, that he can endure pain if the cause is great enough. The same could be said of any soldier who leaves their family and goes to war. In the end it seems that his silent protest mirrored his father's job perfectly. The hair that his dad started out hating has become a great source of pride in our home and we are humbled by just how wonderful a young man he is becoming. He has vowed to continue the gift of growing then donating his hair and I hope that he will, but even if he never decides to do so again I know that the lesson he learned and taught will be one none of us will ever forget.

it's hard to tell but Seraphina (the S) won!

one last look at the hair

Paulette gave her personal time to do this for us. The salon does not do hair donations because they do not want to be accused of forcing someone into giving up their hair. I think it's a stupid policy but it's not my salon so no one cares what I think. I talked to Paulette, who also cuts my hair and she was very cool about it giving up her time on a Sunday evening to help us out.